My ladyfriend, Becky, had a work party and was in no condition to drive, so my manly self drove across town to pick her up from the bagel shop she manages. A lot of her coworkers were there drinking shitty beer and liquor. JW was being my loyal sidekick and helping me steal booze to consume when I was done driving, and once the car was loaded and we had gone through the kitchen trying to prepare our own food, we took off. JW complained about cutting himself on something in my car, which I didn't really care about. That's the risk people take when they step into my car. His drunk self was caressing Becky's head as he so often does when he's wasted, and I didn't really care about that either because I'm all for drunk, heavy petting. We dropped off JW and got back to Becky's house. When someone opened the car door and the dome light came on, I noticed a couple dry spots next to Becky's mouth, which I thought nothing of. We went inside, and she shot out of the bathroom yelling at me something like, "Why the FUCK didn't you tell me I'm covered in blood?!" In a really irate voice. I said that I didn't know it was blood, I just figured she was a messy eater. She punched me and started wondering if she'd picked a fight with someone earlier that had bled on her. It took me a while, but I finally convinced her that the blood was JW's from petting her after he achieved a fleshwound when he attempted the apparently very difficult task of sitting down. It was a long, weird night, but I thought it was funny because of all the bleeding.


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