There's this one supervisor at work who I don't really enjoy my interactions with. She gives really long, drawn out, multi-faceted responses to any inquiry and despite her massive expulsion of breath, manages to omit an actual answer. Generally, she criticizes the efficiency of others with social indifference, but she occasionally attempts to even things out by acting cute, bouncy and enthusiastic. It doesn't really suit her. There's one shift at the grocery store where one supervisor and one normal person have to stay there until 1 a.m. while the floors are cleaned. Everyone else takes off around 11, so that's 2 hours alone with with one of your many bosses. I haven't had to do one of those shifts with her yet, and I don't think I could. My tentative plan is that, in the event of us having to work this shift together, I will do this: get all of the expired meat that is pulled from the shelves daily, put it in the cardboard baler, turn the baler on, and let the hydraulic pressure milk the meat dry as the back room becomes a reservoir of rancid blood. I will leave her alone with aforementioned reservoir of rancid blood and laugh all the way home, and upon arriving at home, crack a beer and tell my roommates how cool I am. My job would be lost but it would be HILARIOUS to me.
Last night though, I found a much easier way to make her leave me alone. We were in the back room and she was taking a while deciding what she should tell me to do, which meant that she didn't know what needed to be done but would rather have me do anything at her command than admit that she was out of the loop. She stared at the stacks of food to be shelved and her sentence was lingering in the middle as she debated whether it would be more efficient to work left-to-right or right-to-left through the stacks. Before she drew a conclusion, I said "I'm actually about to break wind, so you should probably just run along." She said, "OH! Um, thanks for letting me know." and walked away. So, I guess I won't need to bale the meat until that quits working.
really old months: