Stuff/On/Tom | Sunday/reviews. | For/um. | Other/shit.


It was a day off where I played guitar early enough that I was climbing the walls with anxious energy by the early afternoon.  I took a walk to the park and tried to sit peacefully on a bench but there were children playing, which made relaxation unobtainable.  Finally, I broke down and decided to buy beer.  I grabbed a 12-pack and wandered the store aimlessly waiting for some type of food to beckon me.  I saw a pretty good looking girl with a very unimpressive looking male, which is a phenomenon I've been noticing more and more of all the time.  He mumbled something I couldn't hear and she responded in some accent she must have thought was cute:  "Oh yah, you're a thinker, eh?"

and he went "Yaaah..."

I noticed but barely thought anything of it.  I weaved through a few more aisles and so did they, they were within earshot again and I heard: "Oh yah, you're a thinker, eh?"


And it suddenly clicked.  I got it.  She had an obnoxious personality.  She used the same abrasive phrase twice in one shopping trip, probably even more times that I didn't catch, and that poor guy that was with her knew she was technically above his standards, being that she was about a 7.8, so he just had to fucking deal with it.  The bewilderment must have spread from my frontal lobe to my facial features and made itself evident because a stalky, middle aged woman working in the meat section asked if she could help me with anything.  I held up the 12 pack.

"I'm trying to remember if there are other ingredients to dinner."

"No, you're good."

"K. Thanks."

When I get to know people, one of the first things I consider is how I would feel if I had to go on a long car ride with them.  Would I get bored?  If so, would the boredome turn to anger?  So on.  If I was on a long car ride with her she would probably say that same phrase six times within forty minutes and I would punch through my window as I drove, shattering the glass.  I would then grab the largest shard of glass from the spidered remains of the window and look her in her vacant eyes as I slit my own throat.  Her vacancy would evolve into concern and then panic as I rapidly lost blood and my ability to control the car.  And then I guess we would crash.  


I walked home and drank myself to sleep and woke up and typed this and now I'm gonna try to drink myself to sleep again before the sun comes up.


A lot of orders go wrong at the sandwich shop.  When this is the case, the sandwich is wrapped and put in the cold table.  Homeless people, tweekers, and teenagers with nothing better to do than bum change and cigarettes at the bus station come in and ask for "mess ups" or "mistakes," and, if we have any, they are granted a cold, undiserable order.

One of the usual bums came in and mumbled something in his hobo-speak.  I scanned for keywords and came up with "mistake" so I gave him a cold sandwich.  He was about to leave and then he looked at me.

"I got married, ya know."

"Good for you."

"Yeah, that tall girl that used to be with that guy who was always bent over, putting his ass out, like, 'fuck me in the ass, fuck me in the ass.'"

I knew the hobo he was talking about, and while he doesn't actually say that, he is constantly bent over with his ass protruding invasively.

"He hit her in the eye, so she left him.  Used to be, she wouldn't sing or dance or hug me or kiss me or none of that stuff, but now that she's not with him, I've got her to do almost all that stuff!"

"Good deal."

"'Course, if she mouthes off at me I might take one of her teeth out."

"Right on."


really old months:

December, 2008
November, 2008
October, 2008
September, 2008
August, 2008
July, 2008
June, 2008
May, 2008
April, 2008
February, 2008
January, 2008
December, 2007
November, 2007
October, 2007
September, 2007
August, 2007
July, 2007
June, 2007
May, 2007
April, 2007
March, 2007
February, 2007
January, 2007
December, 2006
November, 2006
October, 2006
August, 2006
July, 2006
May, 2006
April, 2006
March, 2006
January, 2006
December, 2005
October, 2005
September, 2005
August, 2005
July, 2005
June, 2005
May, 2005
April, 2005
March, 2005
February, 2005
January, 2005
December, 2004
November, 2004
October, 2004
September, 2004
August, 2004
July, 2004
June, 2004
May, 2004
March, 2004
February, 2004
January, 2004
December, 2003
November, 2003
October, 2003
September, 2003
August, 2003
July, 2003
June, 2003
May, 2003
April, 2003
March, 2003
February, 2003
January, 2003
December, 2002
November, 2002